6/10/07 - The Last Soprano Sunday

 

I sent out 8 text messages to the important people telling them how (and I used the word "sad") I was.  No matter where I think Chase fucked up or got lazy or whatever...the reason I am so pissed at the lack of follow through with plot lines and irrelevant episodes only means that I care.  The ones you love hurt you the most.

 

I am going to break format here and basically just talk about the ending.  Ok...sure a few things happened during the show.  I fucking LOVED when the F.B.I. guy screamed out (almost as if he were unable to control himself) "damn we are going to win this thing!" when he heard that Phil was killed.  I loved it.  I think Tony making a fan out of the F.B.I. was a brilliant ego stroke from Chase (basically saying that if Tony can make a fan out of the F.B.I. he made a fan out of you).  Great stuff.

 

I lightened up on Chase a little because of the respect he paid to Christopher.  It is well known that ancient Egyptians believed cats had supernatural powers and were revered as Gods...the cat (which Tony referred to as being "a good guy") fixated on Christopher and finally at the end laying down next to Paulie (who was catching rays with a tri-fold mirror) was a nice suggestion of hope and redemption without words. 

 

When you are born in Syracuse and are taught to pretend that you know someone in the mob you automatically know the definition of Costa Nostra.  It means "this thing of ours".  I LOVED it when Tony said those words to Junior.  Just hearing Tony say "this thing of ours" gave me chills.  Great writing Chase.

 

The last scene...ok here I go:

 

First of all there is not going to be a movie.  I texted over to Mark Rock 'N Roll that the same people who refuse to believe that Elvis is dead are the same ones refusing to believe that the Sopranos is over.  The bottom line is that David Chase ended his show on his terms. 

 

Earlier in the show Tony's lawyer said: "It wasn't like we haven't envisioned this" (referring to Tony being indicted).  But right after that he says that, "trials are made for winning".  This is Chase's way of saying that Tony may go on trial but that doesn't mean he will get convinced.  There is hope he will grow old in the sun.

 

The last 18 minutes of this show was probably the most intense 18 minutes I've seen on television (aside from sports) in a LONG time.  It was perfectly written, directed and acted.  Tony walks into the diner and there is a waitress that looks like Janice and everyone in TV land thinks "holy shit I knew Janice was going to be the one who killed him."  But he sits and nothing happens.  Then Carm walks in and a guy with a trucker hat comes in behind her and everyone on my side of the TV thinks "oh shit...it's a hit...it's a hit" but it wasn't and she sits.  Then A.J. comes in and 2 black guys who could've easily been buttons for the NY family come in behind him and again...no hit.  All the while there is a man in a gray Member's Only Jacket (another staple of the NY Italian wardrobe) eyeing Tony. 

 

Meadow is rushing to get to the diner.  Every second that passes as she is trying to park her car the tension builds to near stoke level.  Is she going to get inside to see her father die...is she going to see it?  The guy with the Member's Only jacket gets up and walks towards Tonys table...oh shit it's a hit...this is how its going to end. Is the blood going to splatter on A.J. and Carm's faces?  But he just walks by and into bathroom. Finally Meadow rushes into the diner (a little bit too rushed for just being a few minutes late to dinner) and Tony looks up.  Black.

 

David Chase gave us a little bit of Andy Kaufman humor.  I loved it. Every single person in the Pacific (and I suspect on the mainland too) freaked out and thought that their cable went out at the absolute worst time possible.  Holy shit.  What just happened?  I'll tell you...nothing.

 

The Sopranos has always been a show about family...it is just the patriarch of the family happened to be in a different line of work - the mob.  But every question relevant to the family was answered.  A.J. was raised from a pudgy kid, to a rebellious boy, to suicidal to finally a man with a future (provided by Tony and his loving fathering).  Meadow was raised from a little girl, to a college student who wanted to change the world, to disappointment in not pursuing a medical degree to finally acceptance as being a lawyer.  Tony and Carm went from a marriage destined to doom, a separation, a reconciliation and finally to an understanding and love.  The family is going to survive and make it.  As for Tony's career...no one knows.  His enemy is gone, the F.B.I. is rooting for him, trials are there to be won...but most mob guys end up behind bars or jail. 

 

David Chase was in a no win situation.  If Tony's fate had been sealed by a courtroom scene I would've cut my arms.  If Tony had been killed everyone would've said "I saw that coming a mile a way...that wasn't a surprise" and if Tony just walked off into the sunset with his family on both sides of him everyone would've said that Chase didn't have the balls to kill off his character.  That is a no win situation my friends for Chase.  Given that...I think this was the best way possible to end it.  Leave the viewer wanting more...drooling and posting illusions that a Soprano movie is in the works for Christmas 2008.

 

The fact of the matter is that we as the viewer were allowed to spy in on Tony and his family for ten seasons.  We watched him and his life through a magical peak hole in the wall.  The cameras rolled and recorded it on film.  But just as Meadow burst into the diner he caught us.  He slapped his hand down on the jukebox as if to turn the switch to the camera off...or to close the peak hole.  We've overstayed our welcome.  He caught us spying on him and he put an end to it.  The show didn't wrap up every question in a neat little Tiffany's bow...but what do you know in life that wraps up that way?  I understand this is a show.  It is a show about a man's life...and Chase did his best to make it as realistic as possible.  Yes I have thousands of questions that demand answers...as in life.  But I'm not going to get them.  That is reasonable.

 

  "The child is grown.  The dream is gone." - Pink Floyd 

 

My biggest regret:  That Christopher had to die.

A close runner up:  That I never saw Meadow naked.

 

Such is life.  Deal with it

 

 

 

6/3/07 - Soprano Sunday

 

9:00  SC strong sexual content AND N nudity.  I guess this episode is expecting to disappoint so they are bringing in old reliable sex and nudity.  I already have a positive feeling about this one.

 

9:01  Not that this is going to be a big guess since there are only 2 episodes supposedly left (yes weve heard that one before) but David Chase and that Weiner guy have written this show.  Chase, as of late only touches the writing if a major character is going to die...so I'm ready.

 

9:02  Sil wacks a guy...I have no idea who this guy is.  But whatever.  I guess Chase doesn't care that the fans have no idea what the fuck just happened.  Or why it is illogical that the second in command needs to be the one who carried out the mafia equivalent of a custodian's job.  Maybe later in the show well learn that Tony can fly when he claps his hands together. 

 

9:03  Phil says that he wants to decapitate the Soprano family and he will then do business with whoever is left standing.  He says that this should've been done a long time ago I agree Phil...like 5 seasons ago.  But I guess with only 110 minutes left in the WHOLE SERIES this is a good enough time as any to start a fucking war.  Webster's 2008 edition is going to define the word procrastination as: "see Sopranos season 5-10".

 

9:07  The FBI is actually helping Tony out.  How about this...the FBI has turned informant for the mafia.  Nice spin.  I like the role reversal.

 

9:11  Sil using the electric shoe polisher for his white loafer in the back room of the Bing.  MasterCard defines this as: "priceless".

 

9:17  Seriously now I'm just pissed off.  I don't give a shit about the Melfi angle any more.  To me it was an acceptable filler for the Sopranos over the years but this is the last 103 minutes of the series and we've just had to watch 15 of those precious remaining minutes (14.5%) wasted on the fat face Melfi.  But here we go.  Melfi (from last episode who was still dedicated to Tony) has now (after 7 plus years) decided in 15 minutes that she not only wants Tony out of her life, that she doesn't care to help him and despises him...AND turns her back on her professional oath.  Talk about a stereotypical psycho chick mood swing.  This is officially the first plot line Chase had to wrap up in an unrealistic and illogical short period of time because he wasted so many fucking past episodes jerking us off with pointless plotlines (I'm thinking of that whole first episode back when Tony and Carm had to spend 60 of precious Soprano time at a mountain house what was the point of that now????  Huh???  Webster's defines that answer as: "Nothing" aka "no point").

 

9:26  So the Sopranos bring in some Italian import killers and they kill this white haired guy and a woman calling him dad.  This is the second killing this episode that I have no idea who just died and why.  I feel like I'm listening in on an argument spoken in a foreign language.  I know something intense has happened but I just don't know what the fuck it is. 

 

9:35  9 confused and lost minutes later Chase decides to clue the viewer in: the white haired man and his daughter was supposed to be a hit on Phil (and the chick was the girl Phil was hooking up with on the side).  I'm finally getting my arms around what the hell is happening in this episode...and only 35 minutes (more than 50%) of the episode has passed.  Great use of time Chase.

 

9:37  Bobby is killed.  I dont care.  I don't feel anything.  Whatever.

 

9:40  Sil is shot in the car.  I guess hes dead.  3 minutes just passed and 2 main characters are dead.  I know Phil said they need to take out the top 3 quickly...boom, boom, boom...but I cant help but wonder why I was put through a whole season of nothing just to get to something relevant...that is over in just 3 minutes.  Talk about 3 hours of dirty talk followed by premature ejaculation in the pants let down.  I get a call from Naps: "dude...can I please get a cross fire.  This shit is happening at the Bing for God's sake". Great point Naps.  The Bing is the Sopranos equivalent of New Jack City's Carter.  If G-Money had been shot out in front of the Carter do you think anyone would've bothered to fire a bullet in the enemy's direction?  Hell Yeah!!!  What the fuck Chase.  Shotguns should be standard issue to all bartenders.  How can the second in command get shot (Sonny Corleone style I may add) right out in front of the Mafia headquarters and NO ONEFUCKING NO ONE had a gun on them to fire back?  Is that what youve turned our show into? 

 

9:41  I guess Sil isn't dead but he isn't expected to wake up in the hospital.  He has to wake up next episode or he'd just be dead now.

 

9:43  "This is really depressing me" A.J.  Best line in the show because so much shit is going down...painful, permanent shit but A.J. has turned into a bitch who cries over long distance telephone commercials.  Tony then pulls A.J. out of bed, drags him to the closet (all the while A.J. is crying).  Old school Italian fathering at its best.  I try not to smile in front of Boobs but I'm loving it.  I hate what Chase has done to A.J.  I've never been much of an A.J. fan but he broke into this season looking like a bad ass...but instead of putting a gun in his hand Chase put a dress on him.  Typical shit from the Chase factory.

 

9:47  Tony falls asleep in the hideout with the machine gun Bobby gave him at the mountain house across his stomach.  First of allhow the fuck can Tony even THINK about sleep?  Huh?  The Michael Myers piano music and the shot of the closed bedroom door (while lying on a bare mattress) is fucking GREAT!!!  This is by far the best closing out of a episode and lead into the next one in Soprano history. 

 

The show is over in 47 minutes.  Nothing like cutting it short Chase.  I just wish Barry Bonds would come clean and say "I took steroids forgive me" and while were wishing I wish that Chase would just come out and say "I'm just tired of the Sopranos and don't want to do it anymore".  I was feeling anxiety throughout this whole episode because I knew people were going to die but after it was over I looked back and thought it was anti-climatic.  Don't get me wrong...it was one of the best episodes of the season but this war SHOULD HAVE happened a long time ago and ending now the way it is.

 

I have no idea about next episode.  I really don't care too much though.  Who the hell is left? Tony? Paulie? Tony's family?  I have to say that if anyone of thoseor all died I would just say "ok...that is that".  I'm not alone when I say that Sil and Christopher were the best characters in the show.  And even thought Sil isn't officially dead yet too much death is happening in too short of a time for me to feel anything but numb.  You can't just build up 10 years of characters and just wipe them out in ONLY 3 episodes (2 in 3 minutes alone).  It numbs the viewer.  He should've let us taste a few here and there like fine dining courses versus mashing it up and putting it in a trough for us to eat as a mushy goo.  Poor, poor, poor storytelling.  Poor execution of a story.  There was NO WAY Chase had any idea where he was going with this show last season...or probably last week.  Pitiful.  I can't wait for it to finally be over.  It has become painful for me to just take notes during the shows.  Sorry but the truth must be told.

 

Text Messages:

 

Mark Rock N Roll: 1.  "I don't trust Paulie and I still think Tony could flip".  2.  A.J. is too weak to be the man.  Who knows, I just think Tony dying is too expected".

 

Georgia Cowboy: "Wow.  You even going to watch next week.  Still hoping for a Meadow nude scene?"

 

 


 

 


dfasd

 

5/23/07 - Soprano Sunday Week 7 + 3

 

I know this is a couple days late.  Shut up.

 

I’m not going to keep beating this dead horse but I have not been looking forward to this week at all.  Christopher is dead.  He’s gone and no dream sequence will do it for me.  I’ve downloaded the Pink Floyd song “Comfortably Numb” which was the song Chris and Tony were listening to when the SUV flipped.  I cried, watched a couple sunsets, cursed Chase and threw a baseball in the air so I could practice catching pop flies – you never know.

 

9:00  There is no “N” for the first time all season.  This sucks.  Recap…thanks – that just pealed the little scab I had covering the Christopher death.  I’m bleeding again.

 

9:02  I see Terence Winter and only Terence Winter wrote this episode.  I expect it to not follow last weeks story line.  I do think that he is the best writer of the season for the show.  So there is hope here.

 

9:05  Tony comes down in his JFK white bathrobe.  I register the fact for the first time that he never – ever ties the bathrobe.  The mandatory ribbed tang top is stuck to his skin like a tattoo of course.

 

9:07  “You don’t have an envelope” – Bobby.  Funny line.  If criminal money isn’t passed in a briefcase it better be in an envelope or…what the hell.  That’s like watching a crazy bum in the park after dark sipping $1.50 bourbon out of a rocks glass.

 

“How to Clean Practically Anything” – title to the book Sil is reading when Tony comes into the back room of the Bing.  Awesome.  Sil has taken over the top spot in my mind.  I mean…2 weeks ago he was gluing some pottery thing together on the pool table and now this.  Perfect comedy without dialogue.  This is going to be awarded my top line (even though no words were spoken) of the week…unless someone really steps later on in the show.

 

9:16  Phil and Tony’s meeting.  It seems like Phil doesn’t give a shit about Tony or making things work between the two families.  I’m not going to say that this is finally the straw that breaks the back of peace…because frankly Chase has been dangling the N.Y. and N.J. war in front of us for too many years now.  And…well I’ll say it to the guys – it’s like that chick that teases us with sex without putting out for a long time that finally when she does it sucks and we don’t care anymore (probably because we’ve been hooking up with someone else on the side because she wasn’t that hot anyway).  My point is that I really don’t care about the N.Y./N.J. war anymore.  There was a time Chase…but whatever now.  Will I watch?  Sure.  Will I sit on the edge of my couch?  No.

 

9:24  A.J.’s suicide attempt.  Awesome.  I don’t understand how he wouldn’t have been able to pull up a 16” cinder block up in water but I put that logic on the back burner and accepted the scene for what it is.  Great stuff.  This is what I watch the Sopranos for.  Desperate people doing desperate things.

 

9:26  In the hospital Carm says about A.J.: “he was always so happy.”  What the fuck is that?  Bull shit Carm.  A.J. was always bitchy and a punk.  Do I have to bring out the classic A.J. line (back in season 2 or 3), “what…no fuckin’ ziti?"

 

9:30  For the past 2 seasons Chase had the microphone that picked up Tony’s breathing on max.  Tony’s breathing…I mean that loud “I just got done running 15 mile” breathing has finally disappeared.  This is yet another “what the hell was that about Chase” moment in Soprano history.  If you never noticed it…go back last season and listen to when there is silence you will hear Tony’s breathing.  Like huffing and puffing.  But now it is gone.

 

9:32  Carm throws her watch at Tony and in an angry retort Tony storms down the hall and throws it back at her.  Normally this would be fine.  But holy shit did you see that pansy ass throw?  James Galdofini should be ashamed of himself for throwing like such a pussy.  Really…that was just painful to watch.

 

9:37  Meadow gets harassed by some dude in the coffee shop.  Holy shit…this is going to be good.  Tony is going to get pissed and shit is about to be slung.

 

9:39  2 fucking wasted minutes.  Chase…no one gives a shit about Dr. Melfi anymore.  She is fat and the frown lines are too deep in her fat face for me to want to waste anymore time with her – yet again you seem to have zero idea about what the viewers want as you waste a bunch of precious minutes with her in counseling.  Fuck Chase…get with the program.  No one cares.

 

9:42  Tony takes care of Meadow’s harasser American History X style.  Great shit.  The gun in the guys face… “sit down” great.  I’ll forgive Terrance Winter for actually another plagiarized movie scene because anytime Tony gets puts another person in line is good.  But Jesus – can we get just a fraction of originality here?  Huh?

 

9:44  Tony finds a tooth in the cuff of his pant leg.  This is good.  This is taking the plagiarized American History X scene to a different level.  I love it.

 

9:47  Carmine tells Tony that he needs to go and apologize to Phil about beating up Meadow’s harasser (because he’s part of Phil’s crew).  This is going to hurt.  I mean…telling a father to eat shit pie because he protected his daughter – and Tony having to do it is not going to go over well.  Tony agreeing to do so only shows that he’s punked of Phil.  Tony has officially turned into a bitch.

 

9:50  Tony tells Dr. Melfi: “Our mothers are the bus and we get off.  But we spend our entire lives trying to get back on.”  Are you kidding me?  Is this what Tony got when he screamed at the sunrise with that hot ass chick next to him while fucked up on Peyote?  Another anti-climatic finish to a plot line…at least Chase and the Sopranos have been consistent with disappointing viewers.

 

9:51  Phil is in the attic to the house and refuses to see Tony.  What is that about?  I mean…Phil is acting like a pussy.  At least he could show his face and spit in Tony’s but instead he basically stays in the attic of the house and talks through the blinds saying “I’m not coming out to play…and you can’t borrow my bat either”.  What’s next peanut butter and jelly sandwiches followed by Saturday morning cartoons?  I guess this is a pussy ass way of saying the war is on.

 

9:53  Tony meets his son in the hospital and puts his arm on his shoulder.  Even though Tony tells the fat face Melfi he is ashamed of A.J. he still does what a good father would.

 

I’ve been getting a bunch of opinions about what is going to happen.  The most common one is that A.J. is going to take over the family.  Listen you idiots.  A.J. has just tried to kill himself.  He has NEVER been to the Bing let alone been around the business side of things.  What do you think?  Tony is going to get killed and the next morning A.J. is going to go down to the Bing and sit in the chair next to the Sinatra mug shot?  And then what?  Paulie is going to take orders and listen?  Come on guys…get you heads out of your asses.

 

In my opinion this is what is lining up.  Tony seems to care less and less about the business.  He realizes that Phil is the stronger of the 2.  Tony has to realize now that his family (A.J. in particular) is a mess.  He’s still fighting with Carm and Meadow is about to not go to medical school.  His mob family is a mess also.  He doesn’t trust anyone….Bobby beat him up.  Chris is dead.  Paulie…well he just doesn’t trust Paulie anymore.  I think Tony is going to have to choose either his nuclear family or his mob family.  I think that Tony putting his arm around A.J. and walking away from the camera in the last scene suggests that he will take his nuclear family.  But if he does that he is faced with the age-old mafia no no…you are in it for life.  I mean…didn’t Christopher ask to get out and Tony refuse?  Even if you don’t agree with my prediction please come back with something a little deeper than your starry eyed A.J. is going to avenge his father (ala Michael Corleone) and talk over the family.  If that happens then I will classify Sopranos one step below “Sleepless in Seattle”.

 

The problem with this episode is that IT FUCKING SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED ALMOST 3 YEARS AGO!!!!  NOT NOW FINALLY WITH ONLY 2 LEFT!!!  David Chase…created something great…but has shit all over it.  It used to be something cool but now it just stinks and is a shame.

 

We are off next week and after that only 2 episodes are left.  But again…who cares.  Chris is dead and there isn’t one character that I hope doesn’t die now…so I’ll watch but not anywhere near the edge of my couch.

 

What People Are Saying:

 

The General: (text message): "Another episode wasted.  Tony is going to die a pussy death."

(email message): "I wanted to add a little language behind my text last night.  Overall, I think it was a good episode.  But, we now only have two episodes left.  They have finally gotten to the point where the NY/NJ mobs are at odds with each other.  But, to essentially end the show with Phil calling Tony a "cock" from an upstairs window of which we couldn't even really see him, I was pissed to say the least.  They needed to end last night with one of Phil's men doing something to one of Tony's men.  Don't even get me started on the AJ suicide and Dr. Melfi getting counseled scenes.  These would have been fine for an episode if we didn't have two left, but at this point is unacceptable.

 

Naps: (text message):  "oh snap"

 

 

5/13/07 - Soprano Sunday Week 6

 

9:00  “BN”  Great…brief.  That is sarcasm.

 

9:02  Song.  I see there are 2 writers…one being David Chase.  I expect this episode to suck.

 

9:08  Chris and Tony are driving away from a meeting with Phil.  Tony is in middle of a sentence and Chris turns up the volume to the Departed soundtrack (Scorsese…of course).

 

9:10  Accident.  Fuck…Chris looks messed up.  Call 911 – QUICK!

 

9:11  TONY KILLS CHRIS!!! OH FUCKING SHIT.  MOTHER…BITCH!  Ok…I need some time here to get my thoughts together.  Chris dying is the end of the Sopranos for me…the last 3 episode are just end credits for me now.  David Chase you I couldn’t care less.  But for posterity sake I have to admit…that was a fucking great death scene.  I am typing this on my mac computer right now sniffing tears back and blaming allergies when Boobs asks if I’m all right.  No I’m not all right.  God Damn!  This is the worst thing that could happen.

 

9:15  In Tony’s bedroom Paulie says in reference to Chris’s driving, “…that kid had almost put me though a billboard.”  Probably the best line of the episode…but I don’t give a shit.  Chris is dead and I’m not going to laugh until Wednesday…maybe Thursday.

 

9:18  Tony says to Paulie: “It’s over Paulie”.  I agree.

 

9:19  Al…Chris’s father in law is watching the Syracuse basketball game on T.V. and says “Syracuse is loosing”.  My high school friends that live down the road from their mothers and grandmother just high fived…and did it again.  Two high fives in Syracuse wooden paneled living room air.  They are cool.

 

9:20  Tony confesses to Melfi about how he is relieved.  I fucking hate that fat, wheezing breathing Tony fuck.  I am going to watch the last 3 episodes to root for Tony’s death.  I’m serious.  I hope he chokes on a ham bone…Cass Elliott style.  Fucking Tony…I hate you.  Bitch.

 

Juke out…Tony’s admission to Melfi was only a dream sequence.  Tricky Chase…but you are still a fuck.

 

9:24  Tony is trying to get Carm to express his own guilty feelings at the breakfast table about being happy and relieved that Chris is dead.  Fucking coward.  I hate you Tony.  I hope this is Chase’s way of getting the viewer to hate Tony.  If it is mission accomplished Houston.

 

9:27  Back in Melfi’s office.  Tony feels like a hypocrite.  He admits (in a non dream sequence) that he is happy Chris is dead.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:33  Paulie’s fake mother is dead.  Classic Italian dilemma.  2 funerals at one time…Paulie is the looser.  If this was Thursday I would laugh…but it isn’t.  So I sit teary eyed still and stone face at the T.V.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:35  Tony goes to Vegas to celebrate (my opinion).  He meets up with one of Chris’s ex girlfriends.  I want Tony dead.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:38  A.J. is in class while the teacher asks what the author means when he says “the world is against material things” meanwhile Tony is in Vegas.  This is definitely a foreshadow for some kind of A.J. internal conflict.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:43  A.J. and his crew beat up an African (not black American…but real African) guy.  Great.  Now we have pissed off yet another body of land and it’s people.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:44  Tony just hooked up with Chris’s hot ex girlfriend.  If this were Thursday I’d be turned on. But it isn’t.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:46  Phil just got off the phone with Tony.  Phil is the much stronger man now.  Tony’s family has gotten weaker…but by Tony’s own hand.  He has to realize that now.  Good.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:48  Tony just downs a tab of Peyote…this is gonna be good!  I hate you Tony.

 

9:49  Tony goes to Vegas, hooks up with Chris’s ex girlfriend, downs some Peyote and is winning money.  I have to go to Vegas for the first time – Part 102.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:51  Tony falls over in the casino laughing because Chris is dead.  I hate you Tony.

 

9:53  Tony screams out in the desert at the sunset “I get it!”.  I love this…what the hell does he get.  We’ll find out.  The show ends to NO music out of respect for the greatest character…the most complete and believable character Chase created.  Fuck I’m sad.  I hate you Tony.

 

As for next week…who the hell cares.  That is unless Tony is killed by either a ham bone or some other humiliating way.  Damn I’m pissed.  Fuck.  All and all this was a good episode.  I guess it is no wonder that David Chase had to take some writing credit for it...I bet he didn’t write one word but had to stamp his name on it because his best character died.  I can keep on typing the “F” word for you…but you get the point.  Chris is dead…the last 3 episodes don’t matter…I hate you Tony.  Nuf said.

 

5/6/07 - Soprano Sunday Week 5

 

 

Before I begin here…I want to go on record of quoting General B.  I got this text message from him last night.  “What happened to the pay phones?  They can just talk on cellular phones now and think theirs are not tapped?”  Good point General.  Another loop in Soprano logic that can’t be explained.

The show starts.

 

9:00  N for nudity.  Nice.

 

9:01  Song.

 

9:03  Terrence Winter is back as the sole writer.  I let out my first breath.  I

have a good feeling about this episode.  At least it is going to flow…hopefully in a straight line off of last week

 

9:04  Chris just walked into the room and he is wearing a cliché black leather jacket…in non-jacket weather.  Perfect.  Winter did his homework before typing out this episode.

 

9:07  While Tony is giving some terrorist information to the Feds (come on Chase let the terrorist angle go…there are too many other storylines that are more interesting, important and deserving of precious Soprano time) I wonder “that gray pull over shit with black trim and collar Tony is wearing.  How old is that thing?  I mean…that was so ducks in the pool.

 

9:14  Tony is being the good father and trying to talk A.J. out of his funk while in the bedroom.  He says, “there is a half a billion dollar industry devoted to this same kind of problem” (I ready my gel pen to underline and star this quote because I think I know where he is going with it), “it is the music industry.”  God Damn Winter.  At least it is not a Godfather or Goodfellas rip off…no instead it is an Almost Famous line for line basically quote.  Jesus.  Smoke or shoot something that inspires you to be creative.  I throw my pen at my innocent dog and scream at the ceiling fan “why didn’t Tony say the devoted industry was PORN” but then the answer comes floating down to me with the rest of the recycled, circulated air…because Porn isn’t a half billion dollar a year industry…it is a whole billion dollar a year industry.  I’m still upset over the plagiarism though.

 

I guess the best line of the night is going to be, Tony to A.J. “Go out and get a blow job.”  If it were only that easy Poppa Tony…there would be no conflict in the Middle East or in Asia.

 

9:21  This is the most talented group of girls the Sopranos has ever featured in an episode.  Holy shit.  I miss the purple velvet and pink silk of the Pink Pony Gentlemen’s Club and Museum in Atlanta.

 

9:28  Tony is in Melfi’s office with tears in his eyes.  He is realizing for the first time that there are certain inherited diseases (depression, alcohol) that can’t just be “ignored".

 

9:30  Chris is in his A.A. meeting and he is just starting to vocalize his anger towards Tony.  This is step 2.  Step one was him realizing it himself (1st episode of the season) and step three…is action.  Shit.  I don’t think Chris is going to come out of this alive…and that sucks.  For me.

 

9:37  Chris breaks into the card game and throws Paulie Walnuts nephew (who is also a Paulie – yes this is very realistic too.  There are probably 3 others) out of a 3rd story window.  Fucking great Chris.  Plus you were wearing the black leather jacket.

 

9:39  Tony sends A.J. to the strip club party so he can get over his shit wi